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I woke up a bit ago.  D left around 6:30am this morning, I think.  It is beautiful and sunny and I should be outside today.

I realized something as I was laying in bed this morning.  I am still in the Ex sex mode.  What I mean by that is, everything feels natural and dirty because it is almost as if I am still in the same intimate relationship, just with a new man.  Normally, I would never let a guy spank me right away, or fuck me right away, or play with toys.

I have traditionally been a dirty girl, but only when I was in a committed relationship.  Usually it takes me a few months and a lot of trust before I am doing what I have been doing with D.

The funny part, as cliche as it sounds, I have not acted like this with a new boy before.  Usually I make them work for it, wait awhile, etc.  This time it is different.  Heartache mixed with womanly needs changes all that.  Especially since I am pretty sure D and I do not have much of a future, and in truth, I am not sure how long this arrangement will last.

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