Janey made me get ready early again tonight to go to another event with free alcohol. Funny, she knows that is my weakness. Of course, we had to leave the house earlier than I’d like, which I loathe. Also, this event was not close to Lincoln Park, but she secured rides for us or I would have never agreed to go.
We walk in, I do not know anyone there and of course I hit the bar. It was just wine and beer, but that was OK with me. This event was for some Sprint 4G thing and basically all we did was drink and socialize with a lot of new people. It was quite fun, I made dirty jokes, I hugged people (yes, I am a hugger when drinking) and we just got a little crazy. Unfortunately, the event was on a Tuesday night last night and today I am paying for all the fun, at work.
But listen to this crazy story! So, Janey and I are sufficiently drunk at this point, this party ends at like 11ish, but we decide we want to go out a bit more. We talk our sober driver into dropping us off at Janey’s fav spot, the W hotel. For a Tuesday night, the bar was packed, maybe a trade show was in town? We are always all dressed up when we go to the W, so I secretly wonder if the bartenders think we are hookers?
We each get a drink and sit at a little couch. We are adjacent to some older men, well dressed, probably here on business. It took them maybe 3 minutes before they moved closer to us and started the small talk. Then as soon as Jane and I finished our drinks, one of the guys made sure we had another round immediately.
I cannot remember either of their names, but I did take some pictures on my cell phone. I am not sure why, but I bet it was because they were so ridiculous that I wanted to remember what happened! So here is the breakdown, as best as my drunken self can remember guy one wanted me, guy two wanted Jane. Both were married and made it quite clear that they were looking for a little hotel action and they had the money to back them up. Oh great, they thought we were hookers.
Guy one put $500 dollars on the table, he wanted to make sure I knew he was serious. I blew it off, laughed and had him order me another drink as I excused myself to the ladies room. I told Janey to come with me. I told Janey what happened and she said her guy did something similar. Then it got a bit weirder. Janey’s guy told her that they were looking for a full on group thing, and yes, he was willing to pay. What the fuck, now it’s confirmed, they think we are hookers.
We walk back to our table, but I stop at the bar. I tell our waitress to remove the first drinks we ordered from our card and put them on the guy’s card. She asked what happened (she kind of knows us by the way) and I said we just got offered money for sex acts, but I made it clear we were not into that but the guy could pick up our two drink tab for being so weird. She agreed.
So then I rejoin the table, I mean, we were getting free drink. It was then just laid out and I never expected this to be said. My guy says to me, here is the deal, I am married, I am from Nebraska I have needs that my wife will not meet. I am listening intently, and I almost know what is coming next. He says, I saw a sex shop not too far away, I want you to go there, purchase a harness and dildo, come back here and fuck me in the ass. You don’t have to get naked, you don’t have to do anything other than that, and I will give you $500. WHAT?
I am over this dude, it just got a bit too weird for me. The funny part is if he left out the money aspect to it, maybe I would have thought about it. I do not want to be a hooker. But I pull Janey into the bathroom again and tell her what’s up and she says, ah, fuck it, just do it. Granted, she was wasted but really?
We go back to the table once more and her guy had already left, claiming he wanted to go to the strip club. Then my guy gave me one last chance to “earn $500 bucks” and I declined. He went upstairs, gave me a room key and said if I changed my mind to just come and visit him.
The best part of this story, as soon as they left us and we were sitting alone… two more married men approached us wanting to take us to the strip club, but we declined, and went home. Sadly, these are becoming typical weeknights at the W Hotel City Center.
I would have took the money. Hey if the guy wanted to get fucked in the ass and I didn’t have to take anything off……he would have gotten rimmed good!!!